Allow me to make an open confession…
It was a little after 3:45 pm ET yesterday afternoon, as I was flipping around, during timeouts of the NCAA tournament games, that I began to notice visible sweating; nervous coughing; rapid eye movements; weird camera angles; limited commercial breaks; incoherent conversation(s) on set; and, on-screen cable news talking-heads getting voices in their ears from off-stage producers, that I suddenly suspected the Ark of the Covenant may be on a path of discovery by Indiana Jones.
Translation: The Mueller Report was about to be dropped.
Bang!
Winner, winner, chicken dinner, aunts and uncles.
Then, until almost midnight, America [some – those who are news nerds like the old Lobsterman!] watched a continuous series of human emotional explosions across the cable news networks.
MSNBC called BOTH Rachel Maddow and Lawrence O’Donnell back from their respective long-weekend hiatuses – Maddow appearing in a studio in Tennessee, while O’Donnell was helicoptered into a studio in Miami…literally.
Live TELEVISION…the way America was meant to be seen and judged.
FOX News acting, NO matter the presence on the screen, like they had discovered the ‘fountain of youth.’ Tucker, Sean and Laura behaving like they were high school sophomores, on their fourth corn dog…while washing it down with mugs of 3.2 beer.
CNN displaying a continuous sense they had been given the wrong news to break…maybe we haven’t gotten it ALL yet, so let’s talk amongst ourselves, while Jeffrey Tobin was seen constantly dropping his head reading news on his iPhone.
And, then, the piece de resistance, we ALL had the hilarious opportunity to take in the stable of malcontents at MSNBC, from Nicolle Wallace, Chuck Todd, Ari Melber, Chris Matthews, Chris Hayes, Rachel, Lawrence, up to the 11th Hour with Brian Williams…come apart separately, then collectively…in a complete and utter display of journalistic embarrassment.
I’ve been told medical tents have been set-up at 30 Rockefeller Plaza for the balance of the month of March.
Lobster on the Prairie 