THE PRAIRIE NEEDS TO DUNK

As you get older, it is amazing how the littlest things bring a smile to your face, and complete joy to every plumbing chamber of your heart.

DUNKIN’ DONUTS is on its way to bringing 24-hour delight, throughout the metroplex, within months!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The corporate announcement, thank God, was made yesterday.

I know that at some point, under intense questioning, from our regular family doctor, to my cardiologist and, my oncologist (you all know the drill that I’m referring to), they will ask if my diet has changed at all – in the last week; month; or, year. Etc. I fully intend to lie…

From the time I was seven years old, growing up in Maine, when DUNKIN’ DONUTS was then known as Kettle Donuts, to now, they have been my single most favorite fast-food stop, ever.

To give you some perspective, their popularity, throughout New England, is greater than Red Sox Nation, the Patriots, Celtics, and Bruins combined. 

Why?

They have the best plain (called ‘cake’ out here on the prairie); sugar and chocolate donuts in the history of mankind! Followed by their chocolate milk, and hot chocolate.

From a small donut shop south of Boston to a $7 billion operation, in 32 countries (and, growing), they have NEVER lost their identity.

For someone who traveled for over forty years throughout the US, Canada and the UK, they were the one place I could count on to get my blood sugar back in balance, even quicker than the Emory University Hospital.

I’ll finally be united with a friend I can trust…

FORGET THE HYPE, PLAY THE GAME

“Oh, but any way, Toto, we’re home. Home! And, this is my room, and we’re all here. And, I’m not going to leave here ever, ever again, because I love you all, and, oh, Auntie Em – there’s no place like home!”

Kids, I think it’s safe to say, Dorothy was wrong; at least for one night in late October in Cleveland, Ohio. The Cavaliers were blindsided by a totally inept New York Knicks team (who played the night before, losing to the Chicago Bulls)…95-90. And, that’s what makes this early loss for the Cavs even more perplexing. But, the NBA season is incredible long – reaching into mid-April of the following year. And, that’s just the regular season. It’s another two months before a champion is crowned.

Let the Lobsterman offer up some observations concerning last night’s game: 1) seeing Justin Bieber in the building (one of hundreds of groupie celebrities) guaranteed the night was going to be a disaster for The King, number 23, Lebron James…and, guess what, it was; 2) Cav’s coach, David Blatt, better realize – quickly – that he’s not coaching the Maccabi Tel Aviv Basketball Club any more; 3) the Cav’s bench was a complete “non-factor” contributing just 12 points; 4) Lebron James is the greatest basketball player on the planet, so he needs to act accordingly – 5 for 15 shooting, with 8 turnovers will NOT get it with this club; 5) why was Lebron handling the ball so much, in addition to dribbling constantly?; 6) no one seemed comfortable playing with Lebron; too much deferring to him throughout the game; 7) The King played 44 minutes, why?; 8) the Cavs seemed confused defensively when they needed to make a stop in the fourth quarter; 9) ball movement needs to be addressed by Cleveland – this should be a strength of this club; and, 10) this team better be on its way, and be playing as we all expected they would be with three perennial all-stars (Kevin Love, Kyrie Irving, plus The King) by Christmas, or Coach Blatt will be looking to get his old job back in Israel.

With Cleveland playing the Bulls tonight in Chicago, the Cavs could be looking at a 0-2 start to their 2014-15 season. Not very comforting. Right, Auntie Em?

Fortunately, Cleveland plays in the Eastern Conference. Which means they have the luxury of time in getting their house in order, unlike if they were in the Western Conference.

One suggestion: Ray Allen.

Paging Ray Allen. Paging Ray Allen. Mr. Allen, please pick up the nearest airport security phone!

 

THE CHAMPIONSHIP NIGHT OF RIKK WILDE

The cynical humor side of me has ALWAYS been rewarded over the years.

Last night was NO exception. And, all too often, many sports fans seem to miss out on this hysteria.

It’s called the post-game presentations. What is really great about these farcical Kodak moments are a) it’s “live” television – like the world used to be; b) there’s NEVER any visible signs of any co-ordination among the parties involved; and, c) NO matter whether your team has won or loss in the championship game, before you turn your TV off, you’ll realize life will go on the next day because real life truly is a variety show, and we ALL have a part to play in it. It’s just that some of us NEVER can remember our lines.

Enter Mr. Rikk (this is how he spells his first name) Wilde, senior Chevrolet executive who was tasked to present the keys to a 2015 Chevrolet Colorado truck to this year’s MVP of the World Series, San Francisco Giants pitcher, Madison Bumgarner. At first, when I noticed Mr. Wilde hurriedly approaching the presentation podium, after being introduced by the totally inept Fox sideline reporter, Erin Andrews (she is impossible to watch; horrible), I thought for a brief second: My God, what the hell is former embattled Toronto Mayor, Rob Ford, doing in Kansas City? Seriously, the resemblance was uncanny.

It was then as Mr. Wilde stepped upon the platform that events became stomach-crunching hilarious…at least, for me. It looked as if the MLB commissioner, Bud Selig, was trying to find security for fear of things getting out of control. Bud, by the way, appeared as if he had decided to walk through a car wash before making himself available for the presentation of the trophies. Disheveled would be a compliment.

“um, 2015 Chevrolet Colorado, um, it combines world class leading and winning, you know, technology and stuff with WiFi powered by OnStar,”stated the panic-stricken carmaker executive. Queue  the late great Chris Farley. Believe me, it had ALL the necessary elements of an SNL skit. Everyone needs to go to their nearest social media devise, and Google, YouTube, etc., etc., whatever, and bring it up immediately. The keys things to watch for are: 1) Mr. Wilde reading off his 3×5 card (I’m NOT making any of this up); 2) Bud Selig frantically looking for security; 3) Bumgarner looking like he wanted to be back on the mound; 4) Mr. Wilde’s voice quivering, realizing he had drawn the short straw; and, 5) Mr.Wilde’s almost futile attempt at getting the truck’s keys out of his pocket to hand to Bumgarner.

It’s classic!    

I would hope that Letterman, or Kimmel, or Fallon book Mr. Wilde before he’s torn to pieces by the higher-ups at Chevrolet.

THE WARMTH OF THE COLORADO SUN

Just about everyone became aware of the 53-year old Colorado man who went missing at halftime during last week’s Denver Broncos game.

He had told his stepson and a couple of friends that he would meet them back in their seats after they used the rest rooms.

Only this 53-year old never returned to his seat. By the morning, an all-points alert circulated throughout the state, and immediate region. The foursome had made a two hour trip to the game, so it was not like he had just taken a cab home type situation. The stepson told law authorities that there had been no drinking involved, as well as no arguing during the first half of the game. There was complete consensus that everything seemed fine, and that every one was having a great time, and were all happy about having made the trip.

The stadium security camera tapes were reviewed repeatedly over the course of the week. Nothing.

No police feedback from anywhere by the end-of-the-week. Nothing.

Facebook and social media, nothing.

Constant photos shown on local television requesting assistance and help finding this person. Nothing.

It appeared that this individual was proving the old Keyser Soze adage, “The greatest trick that the Devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn’t exist.”

Almost, but not quite.

Last night this vanishing act was found unharmed standing in the parking lot of a Pueblo, Colorado K-Mart (110 miles south of downtown Denver) by the local police. Thankfully, he was coherent.

When asked “why?,” this man just kept saying that he wanted to get away for a couple days. Not be a bother to any one. Be by himself. And, most importantly, just enjoy ‘the warmth of the Colorado sun.’

Some of us like the sun. Some of us like the mountains. Some of us like the lake. Some of us like the ocean. And, some of us like Scotland.

NO harm, NO foul!

GAME 6, WORLD SERIES

There will be a Game 7!

The Kansas City Royals smashed the San Francisco Giants last night by a football score of 10-0.

The Royals got an outstanding pitching effort from their 23-year old budding future star, Yordano Ventura. Ventura went 7 innings of scoreless baseball, with his only problem being his control. He gave up 5 walks, but when he needed to deliver the goods, it was his heat (fastball) that proved to be the most successful; 64 of his 100 total pitches were clocked at 95 miles / hour plus, with 4 of his pitches in excess of 100 miles / hour. Ventura dedicated his win, and the game, to the memory of one of his closest friends, Oscar Tarveras, the 22-year old St. Louis Cardinal, who was killed in a car accident this week in his native Dominican Republic. Ventura had marked his cap with the initials of Tarveras in his memory.

For all intensive purposes, this game was over in the second inning, when the Royals scored 7 runs sending 11 batters to the plate. From that point on, there was NO looking back. Everyone contributed!

So, Ned Yost, the manager of the Royals, gets what he wanted at the start of this series: A 7th GAME, aunts and uncles.

It’s my hope, for tonight’s game, that the Royals can get an early lead; Jeremy Guthrie is steady, and can give them at least 5-6 innings of solid pitching; and, then turn the game over to HDH: Herrera, Davis and Holland.

But, in my 71 years, Game 7, more often than NOT, usually surprises everyone with an odd play; a totally unexpected player making a major contribution, or the deciding play; or, an unforced error comes back to bit you in butt. Game 7s are meant to be that way…goats, and heroes – that the little boy in all of us remember for a lifetime.

EXECUTIVE AMNESTY

The president of the union, Kenneth Palinkas, representing over 13,000 members of the United States Citizenship and Immigration Service (ISCIS), has released a statement regarding the possible unilateral amnesty for millions of illegals within the country by President Obama. In his statement, Palinkas pleads with members of Congress, as well as American citizens, to pressure, and defeat such a measure by the president if he attempts to go through with such an “executive order.”

It has been NOT only the contention of Mr. Palinkas, but many, many observers of the government, that Obama would attempt to do exactly that after the upcoming mid-term elections.

Such action would be yet another example of the blatant contempt by 44  toward our basic public lawful procedures as regards amnesty; visas issued against potential health risks (especially in light of the current Ebola revelations, and complete confusion of the best practices by this administration); refugee communities; taxing and stress placed on local educational schools and facilities; and, just the normal daily safety – in general – to the populace.

Express your concerns two ways: vote next Tuesday (hopefully, you’re registered!); and, send an email, or place a call to your respective congressperson today.

2014-15 NBA PROGNOSTICATIONS

Unfortunately for the NBA, tonight’s double-header – Dallas Mavericks @ San Antonio Spurs; and, Houston Rockets @ LA Lakers – will be somewhat muted by Game 6 of the World Series.

But, nevertheless, the ’14-’15 NBA season gets under-way. Great!

Given the numerous pre-season, as well as off-season, surgeries that many of the key clubs (Kevin Durant and the Oklahoma Thunder) have already experienced, I feel this 82-game schedule is truly wide-open for lots of teams.

Having been said, here’s the Lobsterman’s projections for this NBA season – remember, all flights in and out of Vegas have been cancelled:

Eastern Conference –

Teams that will make the playoffs: 1. Bulls; 2. Cavaliers; 3. Raptors; 4. Heat; 5. Wizards; 6. Bobcats (MJ wants to be called the Hornets again); 7. Knicks; 8. Pacers.

Conference Finals: Bulls over the Raptors.

Western Conference –

Teams that will make the playoffs: 1. Clippers; 2. Blazers; 3. Spurs; 4. Thunder; 5. Warriors; 6. Grizzlies; 7. Mavericks; 8. Rockets.

Conference Finals: Clippers over the Thunder.

NBA Finals (baring no unforeseen major injuries of key components to the above teams): Chicago Bulls over the Los Angeles Clippers in six games. 

 

THE SINGING OF THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

Some ink-covered individual by the name of Aaron Lewis literally mutilated our National Anthem before the Sunday night World Series game. Game 5 to be specific.

He is someone of whom I have absolutely NO familiarity. He was described as the lead singer for a group called Staind (how appropriate!!!) of which I also have absolutely NO familiarity. Both he and this “group” will NOT be of any further interest as I move forward in the late Autumn of my years, either.

“Ink” Lewis – as he’s now known to me – joins a growing list of celebrities (so-called) that have completely butchered our Anthem: Carl Lewis in 1993; Steven Tyler in 2012; Christina Aquilera in 2011; and, of course, least we ever forget, Roseanne Barr in 1990. With this week being Halloween, do yourself a favor if you want to get into a completely ‘freak’ mood, Google or YouTube these complete farces to our country, and the tradition of our flag.

How difficult would it have been for the San Francisco Giants organization to have just picked up the phone and called the San Francisco Symphony, and spoken to its director, Michael Tilson Thomas, for his recommendations. It’s called a “touch of class!”

Better yet, ask one of our men or women in uniform. It’s NOT that difficult…

“Ink,” to his credit, has since apologized.

GAMES 4 and 5, WORLD SERIES

The San Francisco Giants did what they had to do over this past weekend. The Giants won games 4 and 5, in this year’s Fall Classic, to go up 3-2 in the Series.

The World Series now comes back to Kansas City for game 6 tonight, and the final, if necessary, hopefully, will be played tomorrow night.

Giants right fielder Hunter Pence has been brilliant, both offensively – presently through the first 5 games, Pence is batting .474 with 9 hits in 19 plate appearances – and, as a defensive factor as well. His raw enthusiasm has been contentious! Pence is the kind of professional athlete every parent, and coach, should be using as a ‘role model’ for how-to-play, and more importantly, how-to-contribute. Plus, for me, he just shows a complete love for the sport he plays…every time I’ve ever watched him.

But, in addition of Pence, there were two other Giants that should be highlighted: Yusmeiro Petit and Madison Bumgarner.

Petit could be in the starting rotation for most major league clubs, his stuff is that good. Saturday night, Bruce Bouchy, the Giants manager – headed for the Hall of Fame if the Giants go on to win this Series – called on Petit in the middle innings of game 4; in a game that the Giants had to have to stay alive in this series, and Yusmeiro responded in a big-time fashion, pitching 3 scoreless innings as the Giants evened the series.

Bumgarner pitched on Sunday night. NOT to put too finer a point on it, Bumgarner dominated on Sunday night! Madison Bumgarner pitched the first complete-game shutout since Josh Beckett in 2003; and, that was when Josh Beckett was good – really good! – NOT the fried chicken king he became with the Red Sox, or, as he’s known throughout New England: “The Colonel.”

But, I digress, back to Bumgarner. In the two games he has pitched in, thus far, he has thrown 16 total innings; given up only 1 walk; given up only 1 run; struck out 13 batters; and, has a .056 ERA. Legendary stats!

Honestly, I think it’s been a fabulous series.

And, about all I can say at this juncture is to echo what the great Chicago Cub, Ernie Banks, was fond of saying, “Lets play two!”

GAME 3, WORLD SERIES

History shows that the team that wins the third game of the World Series goes on to win the Fall Classic 67% of the time.

The Kansas City Royals beat the San Francisco Giants tonight in a nail-beater, 3-2.

In the top of the 6th inning, both Alex Gordon and Eric Hosmer (in a 12-pitch at bat) drove in two key runs.

Jeremy Guthrie, the Royals’ starting pitcher, was solid through the first five innings, but got into trouble at the start of the 6th inning. This brought Kelvin Herrera to the mound.

Herrera pitched into the 7th inning, but was NOT as sharp as he had been previously. Ned Yost, the manager of the Royals, felt the need to call on Brandon Finnegan in the 7th inning. Finnegan, a 21 year old rookie, who had pitched this year in the NCAA College World Series, responded, with the gusto of a veteran, getting the last two outs to close out the 7th inning.

Wade Davis was nasty pitching the 8th inning; and, Greg Holland closed the game out in the 9th inning for the Royals, getting his seventh post season save this year, which tied a Major League record.

Two other factors were huge tonight: Lorenzo Cain made two spectacular catches early in the game playing right field; and, Salvador Perez, the Royals’ catcher, managed the game by keeping all the Royals’ pitchers under control and focused, while making a great play defensively.

The prairie is electric!